perjantaina, elokuuta 18, 2006

Jar-Jar Binks' Revenge

Teatteri Poleemi presents:

The year was 1999. World had new villains and heroes that couldn't compete with them. Then the world was introduced a new 21st century combat warrior hero. "Yammie", says Jar-Jar Binks (Van Damme). The evil empire made it's final grasp before dying. "At least it's not my father who died."

Based on the upcoming true events.

But the forces of evil are working again. European union was shattered. The seperatists and the union-minded were struggling. Innocent people were dying, there was starvation and the clash was ready to happen.

Jar-Jar had other things in his mind. "I'm retired of that evil business", said Jar-Jar to his former commander. "You can't stay neutral on this matter", replied the commander. "I have no choice, I have a family now", said Jar-Jar before entering the ancient ruins of Kallio.

Eu's evil trio Berluscioni, Blair and Merkel have taken Jar-Jar's family as a hostage. In return for the family's safety, EU's evil trio wants total obedience. "Why god? And that was just a rhetorical question. Frankly my god, I don't give a damn. But one thing is different this time --", shouted Jar-Jar Binks and continued "-- This time, it's personal".

This fall, Jean-Claude Van Damme is back, he's pink and he's pissed. "I'm gonna come pink all over your ass", says Jar-Jar after slaughtering two hundred thousand of the political elite. "We're gonna reggae over the dead bodies tonight", screams mrs. Binks (Jada-Pinkett Smith).

Thriller of the century, epic action of a lightyear, romance of the week.

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